# Raising a three-year old, by the numbers

So for those of you who are thinking of having kids, or have a baby and are wondering what life will be like when they are 3 years old, please read on. I have meticulously calculated life with a 3-year old, by the numbers.

3 — Number of years your child has been alive.

15 — The number of years your child has taken off your life.

10 — Number of years added to paying off your credit card debt.

2 — Number of different meals you will have to prepare each night.

90 — Number of minutes if will take for your child to eat dinner.

3 — Number of actual bites of dinner consumed during the 90 minutes.

17 — Number of times your child will say your name while trying to get your attention.

45 — Items your child will pull off the shelf at the grocery store.

2 — Number of hours you spend following while your child rides around on a tricycle.

0.3 — Distance actually traveled during the 90 minutes.

4 — Different pant sizes you will have for your child at any one time.

0.25 — Pounds of green vegetables consumed a day by the average 3-year-old.

25 — Pounds of granola bars consumed a day by the average 3-year old.

6 — The time at night when you have “had it up to here,” and are counting down the minutes until bedtime.

147 — Times you will answer the same question in a given week.

81 —  Minutes a week your child will spend in time out for hitting the dogs.

17 — Toys that are taken away each day  before noon due to inappropriate usage.

100 — Dollars you will spend on DVDs to keep your child entertained so you can take showers throughout the course of a year.

4 — Number of minutes your child will behave in public before having a meltdown.

2 — Number of minutes your child will behave in a restaurant before meltdown occurs.

19 — Times a day your child will cry.

2 — Times a day your child will cry for legitimate reasons.

3 — Number of stories you read before bedtime.

65 — Number of minutes it will take to put your kid to bed at night.

3 — Average number of times your child will get up out of bed while claiming not to be tired before finally fall asleep at night.

45 — Minutes you have to get stuff done between when your child goes to bed and when you just want to sit on your ass and watch Netflix.

2 — Times a day your child says, “I don’t like you.”

3 — The number of times a day your child says, “I love you.”

3 — The number of times a day you smile and realize it’s all worth it.