After two days of being in the hospital my wife gave birth to our son, Tristan Stone Lemieux, was born at 11:32 PM on February 18th. It has been almost a full week since that time now and I am finally sitting down to talk about it. With little time and even less sleep I have not though much about what I would write or how this post would go. I could talk about the miracle of life or the indescribable joy that a child brings but I still can’t quite craft the words. So instead I can tell you all a few things that I have learned over the last week. The first of many new life lessons I am sure.

1. 100 doctors have 100 different opinions

2. Actual birth is nothing like the births you see on television.

3. When people come to visit you they bring food. This is good since all I know how to make is sandwiches.

4. There are tags on laundry that let you know how to wash them. They do not all get jammed into the machine together as I have done for years.

5. The mother/mother-in-laws will battle it out over who gets to be grandma and my friends will battle it out over who will get to teach my son dirty jokes and sneak him his first beer.

6. As a man, after your child is born go home and try to get some sleep away from the hospital for a night or two if you can. This will make it easier on your wife if you are well rested when you bring the baby home.

7. I realized I don’t know any lullabies anymore. So the following will have to do: “Won’t Back Down” by Tom Petty, “New York City is Killing Me” Ray Lamontagne and “Elderly Woman” by Pearl Jam.

8. Cloths that double as sleeping bang for babies. Get them. I can’t stress this enough.

9. My son is a better dresser then I am. And he looks better in hats.

10. Coffee Express has the best iced coffee in Bangor…hands down.

11. It starts getting light out a little after 5AM this time of year.

12. I learned how to change a dirty diaper. It’s pretty easy, it only take a few minutes and about 87 wipes to clean everything up.

13. I used to not have time to get everything done in a day, now I don’t have time to get anything done in a day.

14. Finally – When changing a diaper and my son starts to pee, I collapse under the pressure, panic, and make a much bigger mess than seems necessary. Truthfully I am a complete failure at figuring out how to handle the situation.

More life lessons to come, and for real, if you have any advice about number 14, please let me know.