After spending a total of five days in the hospital with nothing but my phone I found myself playing on social media a lot. When my wife and son slept I teetered dangerously close to the edge of TMI (too much information). If you are ever in my shoes here are a few pointers to make sure you don’t take the oversharing to an unhealthy level.
1. Be sure to post pictures of you newborn baby on Facebook for all to see. – Do not post pictures of the newborn coming out.
2. Call the important (pre-established list) of family members as soon as your wife goes into labor so that they can begin preparing too. Do not tweet contraction updates to the world.
3. If you are on Foursquare, try to become mayor of the hospital you are at or at least major of the maternity floor. There is a good chance you wont be going to many places any time soon so it is important to get points where you can. What you don’t want to do it create a location called wife’s uterus and check you unborn baby in there as mayor.
4. Remember that your wife has friends that may not be friends with you Facebook (thought I don’t know why, I’m a great friend.) and that they should be notified on your wife’s behalf by e-mail or phone call.
5. Trying to sell you baby on eBay or Craig’s List may sound funny at the time, but will probably get you a visit from the hospital social worker.
6. Take video of the newborn if you can to send out as well as photos, do not take video of the birth and post it on YouTube. Your wife will not appreciate this.
7.You have spent years trying to get people to care about the stupid crap you post to Facebook with varying results. A comment here of there, the occasional “like”. That is all about to change. Each photo of your child will get you dozens of comments and immeasurable “likes”. Please do not let this go to your head. Remember, they still don’t care about you, and they are not ‘linking” you. It’s all about the baby.
8. Finally, the placenta is not something to be “pinned”on Pintrest.