Why own nice things? The dogs and kid are either doing to get it dirty, chew it up or crap on it.

I don’t need to be rich. I just want to be able to buy expensive coffee and beer. I don’t think that’s too much to ask for.

I googled Mr. Green Jeans, Frank Zappa and Honey Boo Boo all in the course of 15 minutes. What the hell is wrong with me.

It’s really nice to see foot patrols in downtown Bangor again.

My son will be crawling soon, it’s probably time to start child-proofing.

I should look into getting more smoke detectors.

It’s only september and I’m already very tired of political ads and road signs. Candidates should be given a project that will make this country better and then one who does the best job should win. It should feel more like reality tv.

How young is too young to buy your son hockey skates?

The new Mumford and Sons album in incredible, the new Dave Matthews album is terrible.

It is almost impossible at this point to get my sons pants and socks on without breaking into a sweat and muttering a few curse words under my breath.

When my son makes a big smile he looks like Fozzie Bear. Waka! Waka!

Waka! Waka!

When playing with your son, say peek-a-boo. Not oggie-boogie-boo, apparently that’s a little scary and they don’t like it.

The Red Sox season, Fox News and Honey Boo Boo – 3 reasons I’m glad I don’t have cable.

How the hell did my dad ever do all of this?

What’s wrong with wanting to dress your baby up as a zombie for Halloween?

Candy corn should be a food group.

I wonder if anyone remembers how awesome Ren and Stimpy are.