Children change so rapidly when they are young. People who don’t see them for just a few weeks will marvel at how fast they grow. It seems that once you have them figured out, they develop new skills and they change the game on you. You have to be on point at all times.
To help with this, I have put together a list of what it means to have a 3-year old. have a 3-year old.
1. It means it’s ok if you aren’t listening to them because they will keep talking to you until you are.
2. It means swallowing the M&Ms in your mouth discreetly before you tell your child that they can’t have candy for breakfast.
3. It means they can (and often will) outrun you.
4. It means they will be terrible in public places.
5. It means they no longer like most foods unless it comes in Macaroni and Cheese form.
6. It means you will need to explain to a bawling child what wi-fi is and why the Netflix isn’t working.
7. It means your dogs will run in fear all day, and have nightmares at night.
8. It means you can start expecting manual labor to be done in exchange for food and shelter.
9. It means you want black coffee for breakfast, beer for dinner and sleep-time chamomile tea before bed at 9 p.m.
10. It means that you start thinking about bedtime at around 11am.
11. It means pant size is 24 months, T-shirt size is 3T, shoes are all different and no hat will fit on top of that giant melon of theirs.
12. It means less heavy-metal music and more Disney-movie soundtracks.
13. It means sports start to happen
14. It means answering the same set of bizarre and unrelated questions each and every day.
15. It means going to birthday parties for kids you don’t really know.
16. It means skipping parties with people you do know.
17. It means being unable to think straight enough to make decisions at the store thanks to the annoying chatterbox you have strapped into the cart.
18. It means your child has gone tone-deaf to the sound of your voice.
19. It means the polite behavior and manners you have taught for the past few years have all of a sudden been forgotten.
20. It means they will not like what you have to say.
21. It means you spend you days asking people with older children if this lasts forever.
22. It means they are watching you. They are always watching you.