Pillow Talk, Pillow Block

As my wife gets more pregnant I have noticed the landscape of our queen sized bed has drastically changed. I have always enjoyed the peaceful coexistence of our two sides. Her side and my side have been able to get along through the years much like the United States and Canada do on the border (Free Trade Agreement minus the passports).

In recent months, however, her side has been stocking up weaponry in the form of body pillows, throw pillows and a body-sized Boppy (the nuclear war head of the pillow world).

This is the time when I should be in fight mode, preparing and defending my border form imminent takeover, right? Sadly, no, I’m in full surrender and retreat. My country has all but been overrun with this foreign invader. I have yet to fall out of bed, but there are still several weeks of pregnancy to go. To avoid the fall, I will have to do the following: learn the language, don’t make a scene and, most importantly, pray. Oh how I’ll pray.

Pat Lemieux

About Pat Lemieux

Pat has it all, family, big old house, dogs, a young son and a quarter-life crisis. He blogs about trying to be who he has always been and be who he now needs to be. He enjoys 90's grunge metal, tasty local brews and the outdoors.