Feeding my child has taught me many things:
1. Simply put, my son is not a huge fan of eating. So letting him decide on snack options is not always a good idea. The idea of an apple or banana quickly goes away as he point to the cabinet where the goldfish are kept. In fact, if it were up to him meals would consist of spoonfuls of my sugary cereal – in between moments of chasing the dogs through the house.
2. Treat every meal like you are going to Sea World. If you don’t want to get splashed by Shamu then don’t sit in the front row, and if you don’t want food all over your work clothes then don’t sit next to your child while they eat breakfast.
3. You can hide anything between two Ritz crackers.
4. Nice outfits and pasta night do not go together. A side lesson to this is that it is important to have multiple stain fighters in the house.
5. No matter what the relationship between your children and dogs are, at meal time they become best friends.
7. I will eat leftovers off my son’s tray that would have made me throw up just a few short months ago. To go along with this, I cannot wait until he is old enough to order chicken fingers at restaurants. (Yes, he would like a to-go box – duh.)
8. If my child is tired, dinner will not go well. If my child is excited, dinner will not go well. If my child is not hungry, dinner will not go well. If my child is too hungry, dinner will not go well. If my child is sick, well…you get the point.
9. The macaroni and cheese people over at Kraft deserve a bronze statue in front of every grocery store in America.
10. Finally, I only feed my son 25% of the time at best. His mother covers the majority of the meal time shifts and should be sainted for doing so. If I fed him all the time he would most likely be eating chocolate chips out of the bag 3 meals a day and be well on his way to Type II Diabetes.