How morning conversations with a toddler go

Though perhaps not the most enlightening or deep conversations I have all day, the talks I have with my son each morning are some of the most fun (and sometimes frustrating) ones I have all day.

When waking up in the morning

Me: Good morning Tristan. Did you have a good nights sleep.

Tristan: No, No daddy. Want mommy.


When discussing breakfast

Tristan: Daddy, snack.

Me: Do you want some breakfast?

Tristan: No, snack. 

Me: OK buddy what would you like.

Tristan: Cupcake.

Me: No buddy, it’s 6 am, we don’t have cupcakes in the morning.

Tristan: No, cupcake!

Me: Sorry bud, no cupcakes this early, choose something else.

Tristan: Goldfish.

Me: No bud, we don’t eat goldfish at 6am. how about we have some breakfast. Maybe some peanut butter toast?

Tristan (sobbing now): No,  goldfish!

Me: No way buddy. Sorry

Tristan: Goldfish!

Me: Tristan, how about some cereal?

Tristan (angry now): Cracker!

Me: No buddy, it is too early for crackers.

Tristan (again sobbing): Gram cracker

Me:………….fine, you can have a gram cracker.


Deeper conversations about life

Me: Tristan, do you want to watch the news this morning?

Tristan: No

Me: Well, do you want to watch cartoons?

Tristan: No

Me: Oh is there anything you want to do this morning? Do you want to read a book or play with your toys?

Tristan: No

Me: Are you grumpy this morning?

Tristan: No

Me: Do you just want to say no to everything today?

Tristan: ………no

Me: Are you not satisfied with your life?

Tristan: No

Me: Well what should we do about that?


Me: OK, good talk son.


Before I leave for work

Me: Tristan, daddy is going to work, can I have a hug?

Tristan: No!

Me: Why not?

Tristan: Because I’m a pirate! Arrrrrrrrggg.

Me: Sounds good bud, I’ll see you later.

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Pat Lemieux

About Pat Lemieux

Pat has it all, family, big old house, dogs, a young son and a quarter-life crisis. He blogs about trying to be who he has always been and be who he now needs to be. He enjoys 90's grunge metal, tasty local brews and the outdoors.